I‘m the friend who always says yes to everything, which apparently makes me the friend who’s easy to leave behind.

We‘d been talking about Iceland since 2022. Not like “oh wouldn’t it be nice” talking — actual planning. I had a shared Pinterest board with 847 pins. I‘d researched the car rental situation. Celeste literally used my Airbnb account last month to save our group wishlist of places to stay.

So when I opened Instagram last Tuesday and saw Wren’s story from the Blue Lagoon — tagged with Jeff and Celeste and three other people from our extended group — I actually thought it was an old photo at first. Like maybe a throwback or something she‘d never posted.

But no. The timestamp said five hours ago. And there was Jeff, holding up that dumb peace sign he does, wearing the Patagonia jacket I’d helped him pick out two weeks ago when we all went shopping together.

I did that thing where you just stare at your phone until the screen goes black. Then you tap it again and stare some more, like the second time you‘ll see something different.

The worst part wasn’t even that they went without me. It was that they went to all the places we‘d researched together. Celeste posted the Northern Lights from the exact spot I’d bookmarked. Wren did the whole food tour we‘d spent hours planning. Someone — I think it was Marcus, who I barely even talk to — posted from that restaurant I’d specifically said we had to try.

I texted Jeff first. Just “Iceland looks amazing!” with way too many exclamation points.

He responded six hours later: “Oh hey! Yeah it was super last minute. Wren found cheap flights.”

Last minute. I checked Google Flights because I‘m petty like that. Those tickets were booked three weeks ago minimum.

Then Celeste posted the group photo. All six of them at the airport coming home, looking tired and happy and like they’d just had the best week of their lives. Which they probably had. Using my itinerary.

I called Wren that night because she‘s usually the most direct.

“Look,” she said, “it just happened really fast and we knew you’ve been stressed with work.”

I‘ve been stressed with work for four years. That’s never stopped them from inviting me anywhere before.

“Plus you always say you can‘t afford these big trips.”

I literally Venmo’d Jeff sixty dollars for his birthday dinner last month.

“We thought you‘d be relieved not to have to say no.”

And there it was. They’d decided I couldn‘t go before they even asked me. They’d planned around my assumed limitations, which is somehow worse than just not wanting me there.

The group chat kept going like nothing happened. Celeste sent memes. Jeff shared articles. Wren complained about her boss. I watched it all like I was reading about strangers.

Two weeks later, they posted a whole album. “Iceland adventure with the best people.” Heart emojis everywhere. Comments from mutual friends saying how jealous they were, how amazing it looked, how they needed to plan their own trip.

I commented too. “Gorgeous photos! So happy you all got to go.” Because what else do you say?

But here‘s what I did next: I booked my own trip to Iceland. Upgraded everything. Better hotel, private tours, the works. I used the itinerary I’d spent two years perfecting, and I went alone, and it was fucking incredible.

I didn't post a single photo until I got home. Then I uploaded everything at once with the caption: “Finally made it to all my dream spots in Iceland.” No tags, no explanations, just me living my best life solo.

The group chat went quiet for three days.