Relationships

So I need to preface this by saying I'm not someone who goes looking for drama. I'm genuinely the person in my friend group who always plays peacemaker. Which makes what happened last Tuesday particularly funny, in a not-funny-at-all way.

So I was with Marcus for six years. We ended things in March, mutually, which sounds clean but absolutely was not. My friend Dani signed me up for Hinge without telling me, and three weeks ago I went on my first date since I was 27.

I didn't have some dramatic moment of clarity the night before or a big sign from the universe. It happened while Dave was literally talking. Mid-word. And the worst part is I laughed. Not a nervous laugh either. A real one.

So I'm engaged. Have been for about a year now. The engagement party was this whole thing — maybe 40 people, her family, my family, our friends. And my best friend Danny gave a toast that genuinely made me tear up. I'm an idiot.

So this happened about three weeks ago and I'm still not fully sure how I feel about any of it. I've told like two people in real life and both times I ended up more confused than when I started. I need to just write it all down. Bear with me.

We'd been together since 2019. I thought I knew her schedule, her friends, her whole life. Then she referenced a movie night that I was apparently at, except I wasn't, and I'd never seen the film, and something in my gut just went cold.

So this is going to sound insane but I need to tell someone because I genuinely cannot talk to any of my friends about this. For obvious reasons. I've been reading a group chat about myself for three weeks and I think I'm finally ready to do something about it.

For eight years, I never questioned the $1,400 that left our account every month for his 'late sister's memorial fund.' Then she walked into our daughter's 6th birthday party, very much alive, and asked where she could find the bathroom.